Riding The Hairy Ginger

I love riding, even though I’m very unstylish, and my feet stick out from the stirrups like a duck’s.

Every now and then, one of my horsey-set friends will get pissed in the pub and say I must come out with them on a hack, or mess around with some jumps or something. Usually, I’m there, next morning, hat crammed on hung-over head, desperately trying to figure out a new horse before it recognises a hobby rider, and chucks me off.

This Saturday though, I was not hungover, and I was invited to ride out with Lucy, the yard manager for Prickett’s, in Horley. The owner, Caroline, is an Eventer, and they have hordes of impossibly shiny Eventers in the stables, as well as a few very glamorous livery horses (complete with glamorous owners).

I was HUGELY excited, and very nervous in case I goofed in such professional company.

I turned up at 9 o’clock sharp, and instantly realised I didn’t quite look right. My ancient navy jodders have more darns in them than a shark net, and my daughter’s hat (I couldn’t find mine) had long ago lost its silk.

‘Riding for the disabled, darling?’ said Lucy.

She popped a silk on my head as if hiding an ugly teapot.

Her telephone then rang (it rings constantly), and I was left to eye up my mount. Bucky, an ex-champion race horse.

He was very tall and thin, covered with orange fluff like an Orangutan.  I went into his loose box and made friends.

‘You can tack up?’ said Lucy, bowling past and leaving saddle and bridle.

‘No worries!’ I called. But I didn’t really get a chance to find out, as an indomitable lady with a busy air and sweet smile appeared. I stood there looking useless whilst she hauled on bits of Bucky’s kit.

‘What hole’s his flash band?’ she said. I dithered and she sent me a pitying look.

The next moment, Bucky was securely trussed, and the lady whisked out, off to meet her daughter from the London train.

‘Thanks,’ I called. Bucky tried to eat my anorak.

Just as we were leading the horses out, a voice called to see if she could ride with us.

‘We’ll be going slow,’ yelled back Lucy. ‘Carles is on Buckaroo.’

The voice laughed, and I quailed further when she came into view. Beautiful blonde, with an impossibly handsome bay. She very politely didn’t mention the two inches of hiking-sock sticking out between my boots and jodhpurs.

We mounted and started off, me frantically trying to remember hands-down, heels-down, arse-in-the-saddle mantra. The combination of extremely capable Lucy and extremely glamorous Belinda made me very shy. I barely spoke as we walked out of the village.

Bucky kept dropping his right shoulder because his poor old bones were stiff, and I kept lurching to the side and grabbing his lack of mane. Belinda’s Perry insisted on skedaddling sideways and Bucky eyed him with disparagement.

Gradually, I got used to Bucky’s uneven gait, and relaxed enough to enjoy myself. My favourite thing about riding through villages is to peer into all the gardens and see what everyone’s planting. I was gawping over one wall at emerging daffodils when a grumpy brunette revved past in a silver people-carrier. ‘Bloody horses, ‘ I lip-read.

We headed towards Wroxton, smartly trotting now, and Bucky had warmed up enough to keep pace with the other two. Belinda turned out to be not at all scary, and to be a Humanist Minister. Her and Lucy’s conversation was so interesting I totally forgot to steer, and Bucky kept diverting to open gateways, like an elderly motorist pulling over for a break.

We reached the Drift Road and turned around. Bucky immediately changed gear, and pulled like a train to the front, shaking his head if I tried to check him.

‘Race instinct,’ called Lucy, as we shot off up the verge. ‘He just wants to be in front.’

I manned up, and sat like a stone, pull-leave, pull-leave on his bit. He heaved a sigh and slowed.

Belinda was talking about her counselling practice now, and I kept hearing tantalising snatches of advice for one of Lucy’s friends.

All too soon we were back in Horley, turning up the drive for Sor Brooke Farm.

‘There’s Caroline,’ said Lucy, as we passed a blonde doing some very s-l-o-w fancy cantering in the school. But Bucky wasn’t keen on stopping. At least no one was down in the yard when I slid inelegantly off his back. I landed heavily and staggered when Bucky turned to rub his lovely face up and down my body. Grateful for his shambling kindness, I put my arms round his neck, kissing him thank you and covering myself in ginger fluff.

Happiness is found on the shoulders of champions.

On Dog Walking 6th April 2013

Decent Saturday dog walks are hard fought. Ordinarily, Saturdays to us are work days, with Stevie doing endless Go-Sees, and the daughters dancing, then off to little buddies’ houses, or little buddies coming here, and I have to feed them all, and generally present myself as A Good Mummy.

I did slide off though, today, at about five, with Dora. It feels like the first proper day of Spring, after the longest winter imaginable. Swathes of snow still lie incongruously beneath hedges, like sheets that flew off some giant’s washing line.

We walked the Bottom Meadows, Dora sending up pheasants from the stream. Their frantic Ee-full ee-full ee-full and ungainly, neck-stretched flight always make me think of fat ladies running for the loo. They also makes me think of shooting, and how I wimped out of my first game shoot.

Dora also sent up a brace of ducks, the mallard flashing green in the low sun. They both flew silently, and low, with none of the panic of the pheasants.

Along the first of Dave’s big fields, I stopped to examine the skeletons of giant cow-parsley type stuff, which I need to look the name up of. They are hollow and the children like snapping them down and using them as ineffectual weapons. They make a good swish sound when whizzed through the air.

Normally, I love walking with the children, but today I’m relishing just being with Dora. She doesn’t moan when I get fixated by an interesting piece of lichen. Nor does Dora stir up the brook so I can’t see the bottom and try to look for stickle-backs. I really want to see some stickle-backs in our stream, but I never have done.

I cross the stream into Emma’s meadow, and admire the new mole hills by the stream. Dora insists on weeing on every single one.

I’m supposed to be taking the children to Hornton for a sleep-over, so I up my pace to cross the meadow and swing round to the bottom of the village.

But then I bump into a Horley beauty, walking her gorgeous Labradoodle, Ted. We pause to speculate whether a funny little white-flowered plant by the brook is chick-weed, or something more exciting.

And then we’re catching up on gossip and eyeing up the sweet, strangely dressed Frenchman who walks briskly by.

Eventually, Dora and I wander on, totally forgetting about taking the children to Hornton, and I find a whole wall by Pete Miers’ cottage, frothing with green aubretia leaves, tiny scraps of violent and purple hinting at the show to come.

Dora decides to crap on a verge and I don’t have any bags left in my coat. Luckily, there’s a drain, so I flick it down with my welly boot.

We climb over into the cricket field, and the instant I see Jess flying down on her scooter I remember we’re horribly late. All the lovely peace of the walk is lost in the desperate scramble to pack pyjamas, and Rabbit and Lamby, and to stop everyone walking in the new puppy wee.

My first ever post! Really silly to be quite so excited…

I’m totally rubbish at diaries, so someone suggested I write a blog instead.

This blog therefore, will be about the things I like and do, which will be HUGELY boring, I expect, to other people.

The good thing is, though, the characters in my books will admire flowers at the right time of year, and wear the right clothes and do the right things at the right time.

So, my blog will contain the following:

Children

Dogs

Chickens

Writing

Dog walking

Horse

Pony

Husband

Wine/gin/Bacardi and lemonade

Skiing

Cricket

Shooting

House-building

Gardening

Cooking

Parties

Weather

Ribbons

Because they’re all the things I like.